Mind over matter. Or, Goonies never say die!

Fear can inspire a great deal of things.

And for Chunk — of Truffle Shuffle fame and fortune — it inspired what I believe to be one of the greatest cinematic confessions of all time… an ingenious spew of sentences that managed to silence even the Fratellis for a moment as Chunk cried over admissions that included gluing his Uncle Max’s toupee to his face, blaming his sister’s fall on the family dog and getting kicked out of fat camp for going nuts at lunch and eating everything in sight.

This reel has been playing over and over in my head these last couple of days because…

A. I am a Goonie.

and 2. I’ve moved to a new city and fear is on my mind. Any minute, I expect to find myself hunched over a blender in tears, confessing childhood crimes and begging for ice cream. Actually, I already bought the ice cream.

Even though adjusting to a new place should be old hat to me at this point, I still find myself sitting among items I’ve packed and unpacked a thousand times and wondering if this will be the place where friends won’t come easy, roads will never be learned and awkward exchanges in coffee shops, bars, bookstores and roller skating rinks will ultimately only add up to a fruitless pursuit of “home”… This adult thing is hard.

When I was working for the Census Bureau, a government job that made me swear to never write about its lame secrets, I had a conversation with a coworker about fear, specifically the variety that springs up during fresh starts. He said that when you think about it, fear and excitement actually produce the same physical reaction in your body. So it’s possible, technically, to try to harness those feelings and begin to think about the things you’re afraid of as the things you’re actually most excited about. Besides learning how to properly store pineapples, this is the best advice I’ve received on the job in a long time.

So in the epic words of Jessie Spano from Saved by the Bell, “I’m so excited, I’m so excited, I’m so, I’m so… scared!”

But I’m also a Goonie… and Goonies never say die!