I. and love. and you.

A society that has reduced love’s mascot to a manbaby who wears a diaper and wields a bow & arrow during the coldest month of the year is hardly in a position to discuss its intricacies…  but doesn’t it make for fantastic conversation?!

Full disclosure: This week’s post boldly mentions Bruno Mars, Miranda July, Dead Prez, and Valentine’s Day, so if that makes you want to choke on chalk-flavored candy hearts, you should probably stop reading now. And also eat the one that says, “Bite me.”

Annnnd we’re back.

I am only mildly ashamed to admit that I listen to The Weekend Countdown with Billy Bush on the radio whenever possible… mostly in hopes of hearing and finding out where that one Rihanna song will land on the playlist. Not the one in which she and Eminem talk about setting themselves on fire, but the track where she keeps forgetting her name. Ooh na na na na. Yes, please.

Sadly, my mohawk inspiration and her jam were dethroned from the top spot this week by Bruno Mars, who simultaneously took over the #1 position on my “Best Worst Love Songs to Countdown to Valentine’s Day” list. I didn’t think it was possible to beat Dead Prez’s lyrics to “Mind Sex,” which include suggestions of wooing a date with “a fresh bed of lettuce with croutons/Later we can play a game of chess on the futon” and my favorite line, “When you show me your mind, it make me wanna show you mines.” However, Bruno Mars’ “Grenade” does indeed take the cake.

In less than 4 minutes, this scorned lover expresses frustration and surprise over the fact that his lady is not impressed by his willingness to:

a. Catch a grenade.

2. Throw his hand on a blade.

3. Jump in front of a train, and…

d. Take a bullet straight through the brain.

But this is exactly what I’m talking about when I say we’ve let Cupid spike our Love Potion #9 with crazy.

In my opinion (though it is humble and covered in permanent marker mistakes), the true test of love doesn’t just lie in our willingness to go to extremes for each other but in our ability to share the everyday. Passion should be there, but also progress and patience.

To put love back in a healthier perspective for myself, I’ve started working through the 70 assignments posted on Miranda July’s “Learning To Love You More” Web site. The project, which was active for seven years, encourages people to engage more creatively with the routines and relationships in their day and document those efforts through photographs, video and text. Number 30 says to “Take a picture of strangers holding hands,” while #15 says to “Hang a windchime on a tree in an unexpected place.”

Portlandia fans, that might sound a little like “Put a bird on it,” but it’s still way better than throwing your hand on a blade. Ooh na na na na.